I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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