Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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