Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
