i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
