Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
