Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
