so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
