He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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