The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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