dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
