Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
