so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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