i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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