The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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