That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
