you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
