the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize