just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
