He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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