youre lurking in front of me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
