bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
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nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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