All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize