their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
