So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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