i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
