Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize