Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
