I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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