He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Come on in and take your pants off
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