are you still at the devil's house?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
