answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
