I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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