Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
