Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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