So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize