you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
