My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
