It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
