no, he came in my armpit
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
