I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's shark week go big or go home
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
