its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
