yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
