totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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