i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
