Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
farters have to be the big spoon...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
