I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
