check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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