Having a random hookup so left but love u
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
