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• (213): View more from California

  I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding

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• (207): View more from Maine

  hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (876): View more from Jamaica

  After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (772): View more from Florida

  I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.

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• (315): View more from New York

  i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?

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• (559): View more from California

  he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.

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