Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"