so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.