paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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