That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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