last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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