and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
