I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
