Whod you bang
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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