I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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