I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
