I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
