Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
